How can it be difficult to maintain deep social interaction？
Paying attention to "social distance" and pursuing communication without burden, "lightweight" and "shallow" socialization are becoming more and more common among young people. But at the same time, some young people feel that the "barrier" between people is getting thicker and thicker, and it is more difficult to make intimate friends. According to a survey conducted by the Social Investigation Center of China Youth Newspaper, 95.2% of the young people interviewed can contact less than six people when they need to talk or help. What changes have taken place in the social needs of young people? What are the challenges? In the new issue of "Parameters" produced by China Youth Newspaper, many young people shared their views.
Pay attention to the sense of social boundaries, but also eager for close partners.
In Beijing Chaoyang Park, when the reporter met Xu Shuchang, a college student, she was having a picnic and playing games with her friends. Regarding socialization, she said that she usually prefers face-to-face contact with people. If the time is right, she will organize some offline activities and get together with friends.
Wang Mingfei, a college student in Beijing, admits that he has some "social fears". He usually prefers online communication. When interacting with people, he is generally a participant and listener, and he is afraid to take the initiative to organize the bureau. As for the popular social interaction of "partners", she thinks that "partners" are usually people who have a common topic, common interests or have the same frequency in their lives for a period of time. "If we can have such a relationship, it is also very good."
"The meaning of’ partners’ and good friends is different." Wang Wenhao believes that "partners" are temporary partners formed because of some common hobbies, mainly to relax and entertain, while good friends are people who can share daily trivialities and seek comfort, and people who can keep in touch and associate with each other.
Wang Wenhao thinks that the social rhythm is very fast now, and the pressure of work and life is relatively heavy. In order to get a relaxed and comfortable experience, everyone will "lighten the burden" on personal relationships, so "lightweight" socialization is becoming more and more common, but for themselves, close friends are indispensable. "In daily life, I often contact five or six friends. From them, I can not only learn many interpersonal skills, but also try my best to help me and comfort me when I need it."
"When I get along with others, I attach great importance to the atmosphere of communication, such as whether I am relaxed and comfortable together. If the other person is strong, I will be very stressed and will reject the interaction with him or her." Wang Mingfei said.
"Even between friends, we should maintain a certain sense of boundary when communicating." Huang Yanling, a 22-year-old, said that she is a person who is sensitive to words. If a friend makes jokes without a sense of boundaries, she will mind very much. "I hope that everyone will have a sense of boundary in the process of getting along with friends."
"Attaching importance to the sense of boundary and tending to socialize with interest are the main characteristics of young people’s socialization at present." Hu Penghui, a teacher at the School of Sociology, Huazhong University of Science and Technology, analyzed that many young people now have a simple purpose of interacting with others, which is not utilitarian, mainly to satisfy their personal interests. Social methods such as "partner" socialization and game socialization are popular among young people, because this kind of precise companionship in the vertical field can better meet their emotional needs.
Socializing is easier and more convenient, but bosom friends are hard to find.
After 00, Wang Linhan felt that with the growth of age, fewer and fewer people can communicate deeply. While the internet age makes communication simple and convenient, it is more difficult to find intimate friends. "I have more than 1,000 WeChat friends, but there are only twenty or thirty people who are usually in close contact. If they are people who can talk or ask for help, this number will further decline, only a few people."
Xu Shuchang believes that in the current environment, it is simpler and more difficult to maintain a deep relationship. "The simplicity lies in that everyone has the opportunity to choose the friends they want to associate with, but the gap between people seems to be getting deeper and deeper, and it is more difficult to make friends."
Wen Jianghao is a graduate this year, and saying goodbye to his friends is his unforgettable memory this summer. He said that at every stage of life, there will be close partners around you. After graduation, everyone will still exchange recent events, but with the change of environment, the common topics will gradually decrease, and with different circles, it will be more difficult to maintain the previous relationship. However, he is not pessimistic about this change. "It is natural for friends to get together and be separated. If they are like-minded, they will naturally communicate with each other. There is no need to communicate in order to maintain a deep relationship. Making friends should not be a burden."
When she entered her senior year, Huang Yanling felt the subtle changes in her relationship with her friends. "Some students are preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination, and some students are internship. When everyone has different directions, the contact will be much less than before, and it will become difficult to maintain a deep relationship."
Hu Penghui analyzed that at present, it is in the era of rapid mobility, and the originally stable social relations have gradually become fragile with the flow of individuals, so many people will find that their childhood playmates have "disappeared". In this social state, everyone is very busy, personal time is compressed, and it is difficult to have time and energy to maintain deep communication, which is the objective reason why deep socialization becomes difficult.
"In addition, establishing and maintaining deep relationships requires social skills and social awareness, such as whether you can understand other people’s emotional expressions and respond to other people’s emotional demands in the process of communication." Hu Penghui believes that some young people lack training in this field when they grow up, which affects their social skills, and often shows that they want to interact with others but don’t know how to interact. He further analyzed that the current network is very developed, and the tentacles of the network extend to every corner. Personal emotional needs can be obtained almost through the network and through purchase, which reduces the importance of social network to provide support to individuals and makes the deep communication relationship seem to be "dispensable".
People are emotional animals, and deep social interaction is essential.
Wang Mingfei believes that everyone needs someone who has deep communication, which not only makes life more interesting, but also improves his thinking ability and expression ability and obtains different emotional experiences in deep communication with others. "If getting along with people is all a nodding acquaintance, and no one really understands you, it is very lonely to have a deep exchange of ideas with you."
"I am a sociable person. Walking and having dinner with friends not only allows me to take a short break from my busy study, but also gives me spiritual comfort and relaxes my body and mind." Huang Yanling feels that maintaining a deep relationship requires the joint efforts of both sides. "If only one party is close to the other, such socialization is very energy-consuming and difficult to last."
Wen Jianghao believes that if you want to build a profound friendship, you must first be able to chat with each other. This requires a common growth background or something to experience together. In addition, in the process of getting along, you must respect each other and remain sincere. This relationship is solid and reliable. "Although the social environment and life scenes are constantly changing, individuals can exert their subjective initiative and actively keep in touch with friends."
"People just need to socialize deeply." Xu Shuchang said that everyone needs to have an emotional outlet, and good friends can often provide sufficient emotional value to alleviate their negative emotions. "Living with friends you want to associate with, and learning to know yourself and others from getting along, this is the meaning of socialization."
Hu Penghui emphasized that in a relationship, there are both positive feedback and negative feedback, so it is particularly important to learn to deal with negative feedback in the relationship. "People are emotional animals. Individuals should realize the importance of deep socialization and learn to bear the necessary costs and costs in the process of establishing and maintaining deep socialization." Hu Penghui believes that for the whole society, it is necessary to pay attention to what factors are restricting people from establishing deep relationships, and at the same time, to provide people with more opportunities for emotional social training, to encourage young people to establish deep social awareness in real communication, and to improve their social skills.
"It is necessary to establish a deep connection with people. Many important moments in life need to be witnessed by relatives and friends. With their blessing and recognition, those moments are meaningful." Wang Wenhao said.
Zhongqingbao Zhongqingwang reporter Wang Zhiwei Baiyang
